remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
