people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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