He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
