When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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