he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
