dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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