No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
