the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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