He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
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It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
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I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
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in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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