you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
