i dedicated my morning wood to you.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
