It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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