four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
