Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
