im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.