i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening