i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
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Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
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his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.