Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Panties = found
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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