Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
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We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
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There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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