But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
