Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
