that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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