if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
