this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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