she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
