You really coming over, don't trick.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
So many bounce houses so little time
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
