Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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