apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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