I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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