Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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