shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
