Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Sorry my hands just texted you
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
