So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize