So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
