shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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