We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
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