Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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