Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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