come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
