the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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