Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
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I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
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I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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