im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
