Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize