I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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