if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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