I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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