The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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