It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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