please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
