how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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