she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
