You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
