he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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