Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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