sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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