found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
