The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
