He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
