did you get engaged???
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
The air taste purple.
Randomize
