You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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