Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
