So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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