If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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